I love when I meet people and they ask if I work, and when I tell them I
am a mom, I now know what they will do. They've read enough Facebook
posts, articles in Time magazine, and heard enough rants to know the
correct response. Which is, "Wow, that's incredible. Hardest job out
there. I couldn't do it. You are amazing. Go you, you are molding our
future." Ummm, okay. Today I played with play dough, went on Facebook
while my kids were engaged enough with said play dough for me
to sneak away and drove to 20 different places. I appreciate the new
wave of appreciation for the stay at home mom, but seriously? I know half of the people who ask me are still
really thinking to themselves, "but what do you DO all day" (I'm not
totally sure myself), "don't you get bored?" (yes) "do you feel weird
not working? (no).
I am the busiest person I know. That is, until I meet you, because you are the busiest person you know. And your best friend is the busiest person she knows. Being a mom is busy. Yes, it's challenging and wonderful and all those other adjectives, but, for me, I seem to always be busy.
Planning a birthday party for my big girl went from being a one woman show (me
being that woman) to a melding of the minds. Zoe was very clear that
this year she wanted a hip-hop Strawberry Shortcake birthday. Awesome.
Her birthday is in February which has given me plenty of time to put together a perfect party. Or it has given me plenty of time to over think everything.
You see, this is my job. I'm a mom. If I was a corporate person I would be
expected to give my all on all my projects, but it feels like we get
judged as parents if we give our all. We are "showing off" or my
personal favorite, "trying too hard." what does that mean? Shouldn't we
all be trying too hard? I've said it about others, I've felt it about others, and I really just
think it is my own insecurities as a parent. For me it's that nudge of "If I just put in a little more time I could also hand knit blankets for my kids' friends' birthdays." (Seriously, I know someone who did something similar). It's jealousy, right? It's not that someone else is
trying too hard, but that we aren't trying hard enough.
So when I'm driving to work in the morning (by work I mean taking my kids to preschool or Mommy and Me class) I remind myself that I should give a little more today, and try to be more present.
So for Zoe's birthday I'm going to make the appetizers, bake the cake and maybe some cupcakes. I want
to make strawberry shaped sugar cookies for kids to decorate. I want
giant hand painted characters on the walls and headbands and leg warmers
for the hip hop show. I want my girl to jump for joy when she walks
into her party because I'm a mom, and that's my job.
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Cooking with your kids - plural
I have long been a fan of Rebecca at www.cookingwithmykid.com. I like the accessibility of her recipes, and the healthy choices she makes.
When it comes to cooking, we've been doing this awhile. I started cooking with with my daughter when she was about 18 months. I had another on the way and was looking for special ways to connect with my sweet girl. We cooked a lot at the beginning. I was also incredibly tired and resorted to letting her watch tv so that I could catch up on what seemed like an endless need for sleep. Giada, Barefoot Contessa, Chopped, these replaced Sesame Street and Yo Gabba Gabba for awhile. And as she got older instead of making pizza and pasta in her play kitchen my daughter made panzanella and balsamic reductions. She asked people who walked in our house if they wanted to try her french onion soup, or perhaps a blue cheese souffle.
Cut to 6 months later and I'm now cooking with a 2 year old and a newborn. Although it was slightly more awkward cooking in an ergo (it worked out much better when he was in the bouncy) we still got it done.
Now we are really zooming ahead to present day. I have a 4 year old and a 2 year old who both love to help in the kitchen. And while I want to say it is smooth sailing, it is not even a rocky ride. It is difficult to manage both of them when trying to cook in a way that the food will taste good. They each want a turn, and they want the same amount of turns. They want to do everything, even the "hard" things. My daughter wants to cut and doesn't understand why she can cut a cucumber with her little knife, but not a carrot or onion. And I want to just stop and say that I am doing it all myself (I have in fact done this, on more than one occasion). But we persevere. We keep trying new ways of working together as a family. We help each other, we take turns as best we can and when one person gets to pour the sugar and the other is stuck with the flour, well, those are just the breaks.
When it comes to cooking, we've been doing this awhile. I started cooking with with my daughter when she was about 18 months. I had another on the way and was looking for special ways to connect with my sweet girl. We cooked a lot at the beginning. I was also incredibly tired and resorted to letting her watch tv so that I could catch up on what seemed like an endless need for sleep. Giada, Barefoot Contessa, Chopped, these replaced Sesame Street and Yo Gabba Gabba for awhile. And as she got older instead of making pizza and pasta in her play kitchen my daughter made panzanella and balsamic reductions. She asked people who walked in our house if they wanted to try her french onion soup, or perhaps a blue cheese souffle.
Cut to 6 months later and I'm now cooking with a 2 year old and a newborn. Although it was slightly more awkward cooking in an ergo (it worked out much better when he was in the bouncy) we still got it done.
Now we are really zooming ahead to present day. I have a 4 year old and a 2 year old who both love to help in the kitchen. And while I want to say it is smooth sailing, it is not even a rocky ride. It is difficult to manage both of them when trying to cook in a way that the food will taste good. They each want a turn, and they want the same amount of turns. They want to do everything, even the "hard" things. My daughter wants to cut and doesn't understand why she can cut a cucumber with her little knife, but not a carrot or onion. And I want to just stop and say that I am doing it all myself (I have in fact done this, on more than one occasion). But we persevere. We keep trying new ways of working together as a family. We help each other, we take turns as best we can and when one person gets to pour the sugar and the other is stuck with the flour, well, those are just the breaks.
The Art of Interference
How much is the right amount to interfere when it comes to siblings?
"Sure Oliver, you can play playdough with me."
"Oliver, that piece is mine, here is a piece for you."
"Oliver, I SAID that piece is mine, stop touching it."
"OLIVER STOP TOUCHING MY PIECE"
"MOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!"
Does that sound familiar to anyone?
On one hand I want to let them work out these problems on their own, but on the other hand, to quote Zoe, "It's not fair." I get that, it really is not fair.
For the most part she is not the culprit, it is the sharing monster rearing his head and spewing fire on an otherwise pleasant experience. Why should she be constantly told to work it out, and what does that really mean?
In our house it often means she gives in to him because he's louder, stronger (yep, already), and frankly, she's nicer (am I not supposed to say that out loud?). I have to be honest, I'm not okay with that. I want her to be assertive (not aggressive) and stand up for herself. And she does. Sometimes. But it's usually a little guy with a penchant for grabbing who wins these fights. And I have to be honest, it's not really fair.
"Sure Oliver, you can play playdough with me."
"Oliver, that piece is mine, here is a piece for you."
"Oliver, I SAID that piece is mine, stop touching it."
"OLIVER STOP TOUCHING MY PIECE"
"MOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!"
Does that sound familiar to anyone?
On one hand I want to let them work out these problems on their own, but on the other hand, to quote Zoe, "It's not fair." I get that, it really is not fair.
For the most part she is not the culprit, it is the sharing monster rearing his head and spewing fire on an otherwise pleasant experience. Why should she be constantly told to work it out, and what does that really mean?
In our house it often means she gives in to him because he's louder, stronger (yep, already), and frankly, she's nicer (am I not supposed to say that out loud?). I have to be honest, I'm not okay with that. I want her to be assertive (not aggressive) and stand up for herself. And she does. Sometimes. But it's usually a little guy with a penchant for grabbing who wins these fights. And I have to be honest, it's not really fair.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
The Thing About Grapefruit
I get bi-monthly fresh fruit and veggie deliveries from a great company called Farm Fresh to You. It is an organic food delivery service that ostensibly delivers cool and interesting fruits and vegetables that I can then turn into fabulous meals for my family. This is true, mostly. I could go into a lot of detail about the amount of time that I spend on said meals, which are met with blank stares by most members of my family, but who needs that. Really.
Recently there were a couple of deliveries in a row that had grapefruit. No one in our family likes grapefruit, no one likes grapefruit juice and now I'm stuck with about 5 grapefruit (which literally last forever) and since I hate to be wasteful, I just left them on my counter. And left them. And left them. They literally last forever.
Cut to me reading one of my very favorite food blogs www.smittenkitchen.com where I decided to search for grapefruit. She had made candied grapefruit peels, and they were beautiful. http://smittenkitchen.com/2008/01/candied-grapefruit-peels/ I figured if there was any way to get anyone in this family to eat grapefruit it was going to need to be candied and covered in sugar.
So I did it, I made them. I blanched them four times, I simmered them for two hours. I drained them for another two hours. This was a laborious process. AND THEY WERE GROSS. Bitter, unpleasant, with a bad aftertaste. Even coated with several coats of sugar. I couldn't even get Zoe to try one, even with all that sugar. She asked if it was still a grapefruit peel underneath the sugar, and when given the yes, she looked at me as if I'd lost my mind.
After consulting with a friend of mine who is a pastry chef I now know that after that first blanch I needed to really remove all the pith, the white stuff for those not as "in the know" about fruit parts. So, one more step to add to an already long process. But I'm in!
I'm going for it again, but this time I'm doing Meyer Lemon peels, because they are finally turning yellow in my backyard, and I'm sort of a crazy person. Right? I'll keep you posted.
Recently there were a couple of deliveries in a row that had grapefruit. No one in our family likes grapefruit, no one likes grapefruit juice and now I'm stuck with about 5 grapefruit (which literally last forever) and since I hate to be wasteful, I just left them on my counter. And left them. And left them. They literally last forever.
Cut to me reading one of my very favorite food blogs www.smittenkitchen.com where I decided to search for grapefruit. She had made candied grapefruit peels, and they were beautiful. http://smittenkitchen.com/2008/01/candied-grapefruit-peels/ I figured if there was any way to get anyone in this family to eat grapefruit it was going to need to be candied and covered in sugar.
So I did it, I made them. I blanched them four times, I simmered them for two hours. I drained them for another two hours. This was a laborious process. AND THEY WERE GROSS. Bitter, unpleasant, with a bad aftertaste. Even coated with several coats of sugar. I couldn't even get Zoe to try one, even with all that sugar. She asked if it was still a grapefruit peel underneath the sugar, and when given the yes, she looked at me as if I'd lost my mind.
After consulting with a friend of mine who is a pastry chef I now know that after that first blanch I needed to really remove all the pith, the white stuff for those not as "in the know" about fruit parts. So, one more step to add to an already long process. But I'm in!
I'm going for it again, but this time I'm doing Meyer Lemon peels, because they are finally turning yellow in my backyard, and I'm sort of a crazy person. Right? I'll keep you posted.
Monday, November 14, 2011
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Nikon or Jackie?
I took a huge plunge today and got my very first non point and shoot camera. It is a grown ups' camera. I have to take care of it. I can't just grab it on my way out the door, and I certainly can't forget to leave it at the grocery store. I have to clean it regularly, make sure it's charged and I would be devastated if anything happened to it.
See where I'm going with this? I think I may have just had another kid. Except for one HUGE difference, this kid came with an instruction manual. And rules! There are rules I can follow that (barring any weird glitches) will ensure that I can't screw this up. I have a father and a brother who are photographers and can really guide me, and not like Jackie's Class (where I refused to go) or the myriad of books out there, they can actually tell me the way to take a solid picture. Of course there is a level of interpretation, but for the most part there are set rules of how to take a picture. A cute picture, a meaningful picture, of my babies.
I'm a rule follower, and I've done my best to follow the rules as best as I can when it comes to being a parent. The problem is, other than laws (okay, so I occasionally text while at a red light), there aren't a whole lot of rules that are hard and fast when it comes to being a parent. Should you sleep train? (I did, but I know there are a lot of people out there who are clutching their hearts in horror at the idea). When do you start feeding your kids uncooked carrots? (Still grabbing them from my 19 month old's little fingers, even though he has eaten who knows how many). At what age do you switch from a crib to a bed? ( 2 yrs 3 months for Zoe due to potty training, still not sure about Oliver. Frankly still just shocked he hasn't vaulted over the top yet).
It is so hard to know what rules to follow, and which ones to just make up as you go along. So, thank you camera for being just what this mama needed. A new baby with an instruction manual and who already sleeps through the night.
I'm not claiming to be Ansel Adams, but with subjects like these... Okay, this was taken with my iPhone. I'm having some trouble getting my new pics to upload. Will post from the new camera later.
See where I'm going with this? I think I may have just had another kid. Except for one HUGE difference, this kid came with an instruction manual. And rules! There are rules I can follow that (barring any weird glitches) will ensure that I can't screw this up. I have a father and a brother who are photographers and can really guide me, and not like Jackie's Class (where I refused to go) or the myriad of books out there, they can actually tell me the way to take a solid picture. Of course there is a level of interpretation, but for the most part there are set rules of how to take a picture. A cute picture, a meaningful picture, of my babies.
I'm a rule follower, and I've done my best to follow the rules as best as I can when it comes to being a parent. The problem is, other than laws (okay, so I occasionally text while at a red light), there aren't a whole lot of rules that are hard and fast when it comes to being a parent. Should you sleep train? (I did, but I know there are a lot of people out there who are clutching their hearts in horror at the idea). When do you start feeding your kids uncooked carrots? (Still grabbing them from my 19 month old's little fingers, even though he has eaten who knows how many). At what age do you switch from a crib to a bed? ( 2 yrs 3 months for Zoe due to potty training, still not sure about Oliver. Frankly still just shocked he hasn't vaulted over the top yet).
It is so hard to know what rules to follow, and which ones to just make up as you go along. So, thank you camera for being just what this mama needed. A new baby with an instruction manual and who already sleeps through the night.
I'm not claiming to be Ansel Adams, but with subjects like these... Okay, this was taken with my iPhone. I'm having some trouble getting my new pics to upload. Will post from the new camera later.
Friday, November 11, 2011
Sharing Monster
Yesterday we had a playdate with our best best best friends, you'll hear me mention them often. Auntie, Uncle, M (Zoe's bestie mcbesterson) and V (who just may be Oliver's future wife). We spend so much time together that our families have just about merged. I can go into all of this in a future post, but this one is about sharing, or really the lack thereof.
At this particular playdate Oliver and V were at each others' throats when it came to sharing.
Zoe was an awesome sharer, still is. Top notch, could put it on a college resume if anyone still cared about that once she hit college age. So I was TOTALLY UNPREPARED for my little sharing monster.
MINE + NO = crying so hard his lips turned blue and no sound came out for a good 15 seconds. That is Oliver's response to sharing with V. Everything was MINE and everything was dramatic.
"It's age appropriate" "He'll outgrow it" "Ignore him" "Tell him you understand"
This is some of the advice I've received, and as much as I appreciate it, what I really want is for the behavior to GO AWAY. It's so irritating, right?
I don't believe in making excuses. It is age appropriate and he better outgrow it. I'm happy to ignore it, and frankly I don't really understand (I mean, it's a toy, go get another one).
Okay folks, I'm BACK
Hello, is anyone out there? I'm back. My wonderful old/new friend Jenny Feldon of the always funny www.karmacontinued.com has encouraged me to get back on the horse. So here I am, getting back on the horse. I have a 19 month old pulling on my leg wanting more strawberries, so I'm starting with this.
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