I love when I meet people and they ask if I work, and when I tell them I
am a mom, I now know what they will do. They've read enough Facebook
posts, articles in Time magazine, and heard enough rants to know the
correct response. Which is, "Wow, that's incredible. Hardest job out
there. I couldn't do it. You are amazing. Go you, you are molding our
future." Ummm, okay. Today I played with play dough, went on Facebook
while my kids were engaged enough with said play dough for me
to sneak away and drove to 20 different places. I appreciate the new
wave of appreciation for the stay at home mom, but seriously? I know half of the people who ask me are still
really thinking to themselves, "but what do you DO all day" (I'm not
totally sure myself), "don't you get bored?" (yes) "do you feel weird
not working? (no).
I am the busiest person I know. That is, until I meet you, because you are the busiest person you know. And your best friend is the busiest person she knows. Being a mom is busy. Yes, it's challenging and wonderful and all those other adjectives, but, for me, I seem to always be busy.
Planning a birthday party for my big girl went from being a one woman show (me
being that woman) to a melding of the minds. Zoe was very clear that
this year she wanted a hip-hop Strawberry Shortcake birthday. Awesome.
Her birthday is in February which has given me plenty of time to put together a perfect party. Or it has given me plenty of time to over think everything.
You see, this is my job. I'm a mom. If I was a corporate person I would be
expected to give my all on all my projects, but it feels like we get
judged as parents if we give our all. We are "showing off" or my
personal favorite, "trying too hard." what does that mean? Shouldn't we
all be trying too hard? I've said it about others, I've felt it about others, and I really just
think it is my own insecurities as a parent. For me it's that nudge of "If I just put in a little more time I could also hand knit blankets for my kids' friends' birthdays." (Seriously, I know someone who did something similar). It's jealousy, right? It's not that someone else is
trying too hard, but that we aren't trying hard enough.
So when I'm driving to work in the morning (by work I mean taking my kids to preschool or Mommy and Me class) I remind myself that I should give a little more today, and try to be more present.
So for Zoe's birthday I'm going to make the appetizers, bake the cake and maybe some cupcakes. I want
to make strawberry shaped sugar cookies for kids to decorate. I want
giant hand painted characters on the walls and headbands and leg warmers
for the hip hop show. I want my girl to jump for joy when she walks
into her party because I'm a mom, and that's my job.
