My Happiness Project

I read Gretchen Rubin's book The Happiness Project last year, and really gained a lot from reading it. I am trying to be more present with my kids and my husband, even though it is a challenge. It seems like I am always texting, or emailing, or checking voicemail, or on facebook, or, or, or. It is a seemingly endless list. But I truly do want to be present, and I also want to take time for myself. And that doesn't mean spa days or vacations (although that would be nice) it means to just take a minute here and there to be present for myself. So when I was reading about my friend Jenny Feldon from www.karmacontinued.com doing her own version of a Happiness Project, it started me thinking about what a Happiness Project would look like for me. She is doing one thing each day that makes her happy, and I like that. For my own version, I want to combine that with doing things that allow me to be present. That means sitting down with my kids, and not at my computer (my kids are sleeping right now, I promise!). It means running a little more, and sitting a little less. It means reading my daughter the extra one, or three, books at bedtime, because it's a little more time with a 4 year old who is going to be a 14 year old before I know it. It means laughing when my little guy says NO, instead of getting angry. What does it mean to you?

Santa and all his Baggage

At a time in my life where it seems like I'm informed on a daily basis the things that aren't fair, we hit Christmas. And in my house, with my almost 4 year old, it looks like 'tis the season for lying, or not? We are Jewish. Totally Jewish. Not the Jews with a Hannukah Bush. Not the Jews who get visits from Santa's super cool brother Hannukah Harry. Not even Jews who put up blue and white lights outside. Our house is peppered with different Star of Davids, the menorah Zoe made when she was 2, and several banners that loudly proclaim that Hannukah is a Happy time in this house. We are Jewish. But the rest of the world is doing their own thing. "Mommy, where are all the Hannukah decorations at Target? Why just in that corner over there?" "Mommy, how come all the streets are decorated for Christmas and not Hannukah?" "Mommy, why are we Jewish?" Why does Santa have to be so tough on us?

My Job

I love when I meet people and they ask if I work, and when I tell them I am a mom, I now know what they will do. They've read enough Facebook posts, articles in Time magazine, and heard enough rants to know the correct response. Which is, "Wow, that's incredible. Hardest job out there. I couldn't do it. You are amazing. Go you, you are molding our future." Ummm, okay. Today I played with play dough, went on Facebook while my kids were engaged enough with said play dough for me to sneak away and drove to 20 different places. I appreciate the new wave of appreciation for the stay at home mom, but seriously? I know half of the people who ask me are still really thinking to themselves, "but what do you DO all day" (I'm not totally sure myself), "don't you get bored?" (yes) "do you feel weird not working? (no).

I am the busiest person I know. That is, until I meet you, because you are the busiest person you know. And your best friend is the busiest person she knows. Being a mom is busy. Yes, it's challenging and wonderful and all those other adjectives, but, for me, I seem to always be busy.

Planning a birthday party for my big girl went from being a one woman show (me being that woman) to a melding of the minds. Zoe was very clear that this year she wanted a hip-hop Strawberry Shortcake birthday. Awesome. Her birthday is in February which has given me plenty of time to put together a perfect party. Or it has given me plenty of time to over think everything.

You see, this is my job. I'm a mom. If I was a corporate person I would be expected to give my all on all my projects, but it feels like we get judged as parents if we give our all. We are "showing off" or my personal favorite, "trying too hard." what does that mean? Shouldn't we all be trying too hard? I've said it about others, I've felt it about others, and I really just think it is my own insecurities as a parent. For me it's that nudge of "If I just put in a little more time I could also hand knit blankets for my kids' friends' birthdays." (Seriously, I know someone who did something similar). It's jealousy, right? It's not that someone else is trying too hard, but that we aren't trying hard enough.

So when I'm driving to work in the morning (by work I mean taking my kids to preschool or Mommy and Me class) I remind myself that I should give a little more today, and try to be more present. 

So for Zoe's birthday I'm going to make the appetizers, bake the cake and maybe some cupcakes. I want to make strawberry shaped sugar cookies for kids to decorate. I want giant hand painted characters on the walls and headbands and leg warmers for the hip hop show. I want my girl to jump for joy when she walks into her party because I'm a mom, and that's my job.

Cooking with your kids - plural

I have long been a fan of Rebecca at www.cookingwithmykid.com. I like the accessibility of her recipes, and the healthy choices she makes.

When it comes to cooking, we've been doing this awhile. I started cooking with with my daughter when she was about 18 months. I had another on the way and was looking for special ways to connect with my sweet girl. We cooked a lot at the beginning. I was also incredibly tired and resorted to letting her watch tv so that I could catch up on what seemed like an endless need for sleep. Giada, Barefoot Contessa, Chopped, these replaced Sesame Street and Yo Gabba Gabba for awhile. And as she got older instead of making pizza and pasta in her play kitchen my daughter made panzanella and balsamic reductions. She asked people who walked in our house if they wanted to try her french onion soup, or perhaps a blue cheese souffle.
Cut to 6 months later and I'm now cooking with a 2 year old and a newborn. Although it was slightly more awkward cooking in an ergo (it worked out much better when he was in the bouncy) we still got it done.
Now we are really zooming ahead to present day. I have a 4 year old and a 2 year old who both love to help in the kitchen. And while I want to say it is smooth sailing, it is not even a rocky ride. It is difficult to manage both of them when trying to cook in a way that the food will taste good. They each want a turn, and they want the same amount of turns. They want to do everything, even the "hard" things. My daughter wants to cut and doesn't understand why she can cut a cucumber with her little knife, but not a carrot or onion. And I want to just stop and say that I am doing it all myself (I have in fact done this, on more than one occasion). But we persevere. We keep trying new ways of working together as a family. We help each other, we take turns as  best we can and when one person gets to pour the sugar and the other is stuck with the flour, well, those are just the breaks.

The Art of Interference

How much is the right amount to interfere when it comes to siblings?

"Sure Oliver, you can play playdough with me."

"Oliver, that piece is mine, here is a piece for you."

"Oliver, I SAID that piece is mine, stop touching it."

"OLIVER STOP TOUCHING MY PIECE"

"MOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!"

Does that sound familiar to anyone?

On one hand I want to let them work out these problems on their own, but on the other hand, to quote Zoe, "It's not fair." I get that, it really is not fair.

For the most part she is not the culprit, it is the sharing monster rearing his head and spewing fire on an otherwise pleasant experience. Why should she be constantly told to work it out, and what does that really mean?

In our house it often means she gives in to him because he's louder, stronger (yep, already), and frankly, she's nicer (am I not supposed to say that out loud?). I have to be honest, I'm not okay with that. I want her to be assertive (not aggressive) and stand up for herself. And she does. Sometimes. But it's usually a little guy with a penchant for grabbing who wins these fights. And I have to be honest, it's not really fair.

The Thing About Grapefruit

I get bi-monthly fresh fruit and veggie deliveries from a great company called Farm Fresh to You. It is an organic food delivery service that ostensibly delivers cool and interesting fruits and vegetables that I can then turn into fabulous meals for my family. This is true, mostly. I could go into a lot of detail about the amount of time that I spend on said meals, which are met with blank stares by most members of my family, but who needs that. Really.

Recently there were a couple of deliveries in a row that had grapefruit. No one in our family likes grapefruit, no one likes grapefruit juice and now I'm stuck with about 5 grapefruit (which literally last forever) and since I hate to be wasteful, I just left them on my counter. And left them. And left them. They literally last forever.

Cut to me reading one of my very favorite food blogs www.smittenkitchen.com where I decided to search for grapefruit. She had made candied grapefruit peels, and they were beautiful. http://smittenkitchen.com/2008/01/candied-grapefruit-peels/ I figured if there was any way to get anyone in this family to eat grapefruit it was going to need to be candied and covered in sugar.

So I did it, I made them. I blanched them four times, I simmered them for two hours. I drained them for another two hours. This was a laborious process. AND THEY WERE GROSS. Bitter, unpleasant, with a bad aftertaste. Even coated with several coats of sugar. I couldn't even get Zoe to try one, even with all that sugar. She asked if it was still a grapefruit peel underneath the sugar, and when given the yes, she looked at me as if I'd lost my mind.

After consulting with a friend of mine who is a pastry chef I now know that after that first blanch I needed to really remove all the pith, the white stuff for those not as "in the know" about fruit parts. So, one more step to add to an already long process. But I'm in!

I'm going for it again, but this time I'm doing Meyer Lemon peels, because they are finally turning  yellow in my backyard, and I'm sort of a crazy person. Right? I'll keep you posted.

I'm so incredibly proud of my swimming girl. When she started swim lessons in June she was scared just putting her feet in the water. Now she is swimming the length of the pool!