Doing Things For Me

I forgot to do stuff for myself.

Not how to do things, I still manage to take care of myself on a daily basis, but somewhere along the way I forgot to do things that aren't for the family. I'm not trying to be a martyr or win any points here, it is just a fact. I enjoy doing things for my family. I don't mind using my precious hours alone to go to the market or run other errands. It's my job. I'm a stay at home mom. I'm so happy to have that as my job and would never want it any other way, but I realized recently that it can by my job and it can be my life, but I need something else to break it up. Nobody can be at work 24/7.

So today, which is one of the two days of the week I have part-time help, even though I had several errands to run I grabbed my knitting bag and went to Aroma Cafe. I spent an hour and a half sipping coffee and knitting. I relaxed my shoulders when they got tense (which they tend to do when I knit), I took some deep breaths just for fun and I relaxed.

For the first two minutes I felt a little guilty. I did have errands to run... I pushed the thoughts away and focused on my knitting and purling. It was such a wonderful morning and I need to do it more often.

So, I started a sweater for Zoe last week. I know the basics of knitting, but have never made anything other than scarves. I wanted to go back into knitting with a bang, and went down to La Knitterie Parissiene, a local knitting shop, with no intention other than leaving with a challenging project that will force me to do something for myself. Yes, I realize that I am making a sweater for Zoe, baby steps... The owner of the shop, Edith, was so helpful and supportive. I was worried she was going to talk me out of undertaking such a big project as a novice, but she told me it would be easy!!! and that she would take me through the steps. Well, it hasn't quite been easy, and I just had to pull out 4 rows of a painstaking stitch, but I've loved every minute of it.

I am making Zoe a purple sweater, since she tells me multiple times a day that purple is her very favorite color. I made the mistake of telling her that I was making her a sweater, and now every time she sees me with the knitting she asks if it is done yet. This afternoon I showed her the progress, she told me it didn't look like a sweater, and that I'm so silly. Then she wanted to help, so I gave her a set of knitting needles and an old ball of yarn and my baby girl and I sat and knit together. Watching her poke the needles into the yarn, and her joy while playing with the ball, tangling her little fingers inside and feeling the material, made me remember why I love my job. I love my job so that I can sit and make my baby girl a purple sweater while she plays with yarn and rests her head on my knee. My job will always overlap with my life, but now that I'm learning to do things for myself again, I appreciate the overlap.