Poop in the tub is grosser than it sounds: Warning - not for the faint of heart

Oliver pooped in the tub. It was disgusting. Any parent who tells you that their child's poop, vomit, pee, etc... isn't gross is lying. You deal with it, you are okay with it, but there is no poop out there that isn't vile. I mean, it's poop.

Let's start by saying that in two years Zoe only pooped in the tub once, and it was when she was older so it was normal poop. By normal, I mean it was not breastmilk poop. It is also important to note that Zoe hated the tub, from birth.

Here is her very first bath at home. It never got better.



I don't use the term hated lightly. She hated it with a visceral passion. She hated it so much, that we really only bathed her when necessary. Before babies can really move, bathing is not necessary, so she got a bath once a week, maybe. It's a little better now, but requires some serious song and dance.

So needless to say, we weren't chomping at the bit to give Oliver his first bath. I would even say that we were excited when after the bris the Mohel told us we had to wait 7-10 days for a bath. We wanted to be extra cautious, so we waited two weeks. Finally, we could wait no more. Our three week old deserved to be bathed at that point. Plus, his little hair was starting to look strange and greasy. Not cool.

Rich had to work late, and I'd already been putting it off, so I decided to save Rich and take this on myself. I got myself all psyched up, some motivational words in the mirror and some motivational words to Oliver. Well, he loved it! Oliver just cuddled in his little sling and stared at me with what I took to be pure relaxation. He was happy and comfortable, and quiet. I was excited because it was one more thing to do at night. Let's face it, 3 1/2 week old babies are not known for their stimulating conversation, and there is only so much leg bicycling one can do. I was glad to be able to add "bathtime" to our repertoire.



This all brings me to last night. My fabulous brother Mikey (shout out!) came over to give me a hand while Rich was at Andrew and Ashley's wedding (another shout out). After Zoe went to sleep, I was giving Oliver a bath and Mikey was getting ready to leave. As he was walking out the door, Oliver exploded. All over the bath, and himself. Luckily (for me, not him) Mikey only had one foot out the door, and came running to the rescue. My favorite part was when Mikey asked me if I was feeding Oliver seeds. (This will only make sense to someone familiar with nursing babies' poop. If that is not you, you are better off for not knowing). The end is not that interesting. The bathtub got rinsed out, Oliver got a new bath and all was right in the world. Other than the fact that in the last week I've been peed and pooped on. Yes, other than that...